The Conscious Mind

The rational mind, the logical mind, the decision maker, the intelligent mind. This is where we experience pleasurable sensations, pain, joy and laughter, our perceptions of our senses and emotions.

The conscious mind can only concentrate on what is happening NOW if it gets cluttered it cannot cope, causing forgetfulness or the inability to concentrate.

Its functions control; reading, writing, arithmetic, verbal analysis, logic, ego and linear processing.

The Subconscious Mind

Does not interpret, it simple stores. Gathering information like a large database, it also collects all our feeling senses. It is immense as it harbours all the information we accumulate throughout our life from conception, but most of it is buried, as we never need it. Very happy and very painful events are easier to recall as they have an emotional charge around them. Repressed emotions are when we do not want to face up to something; it is always there with you even on your happiest day,

The stressed subconscious mind is like a large jug, its contents increasing, until it overflows as we keep on topping it up with unhappy memories, compounding misery, making our expectations lower. We must learn to recognise what the jug is holding and how to deal with it. A stress victim is someone whose jug is constantly overflowing making them feel as if they are unable to cope. The subconscious mind is the powerful, irrational mind overruling the conscious, rational one

e.g. A little girl touched a frog by mistake when she was two, it frightened her. Now, all through her life, frogs scare her even though her conscious mind (the logical one) tells her it cannot harm her. The subconscious mind overrules the logical mind with the memory of the fear.

The subconscious functions are non-verbal, recognition, imagination, creativity, emotion, simultaneous processing, identity symbolism. We must look after the mind as well as the body. Imagine if you had a very expensive car you would not drive it at full speed, not checking it for fuel or oil, then leave it running all night, get up the next day and do it all over again? NO

The mind is the same; we must switch off the engine, let it calm down, and then check under the bonnet. The problems will still be there but you will be calmer and stronger to deal with them.

Say To Yourself

“I am my own person starting afresh. I have every right to be my own person, no one is better, I take the good from the past and throw away the rubbish”.

We often sabotage ourselves through the unconscious mind. Self-sabotage is when we put ourselves in the jail of our own mind and do not allowing ourselves to feel our very negative and destructive emotions, pain, guilt and bitterness. By not allowing ourselves to let go of these feelings we are only punishing ourselves. We need to physically get in touch with our feelings, which provoke anxiety and identify what it is that helps to release them. Failure to do this will suppress and only compound

the problem.

The 4 most detrimental hazards blocking our experience, joy and personal fulfilment are:

Regret Living in the past

Remorse Unforgiving

Guilt How we punish ourselves

Anger Hidden or suppressed hurt

Clearing out the mind and getting rid of the blame and doubt makes room to plant new positive thoughts that can grow into a healthy, happy and fulfilled life.

Holding on to the past stops new opportunities from entering our lives. Learning to let go and move forward is a very important tool. Sometimes we are afraid to let go of the past because it is familiar, where as the future is unknown, this limits the development of a more positive future. Behind our fears lie a whole web of psychological and emotional conditioning that weakens our self-confidence and self worth, taking away our ability to go forward in trust and our sense of adventure.

By suppressing emotions we actually compound the negative effects of our emotions. Suppressed emotion can affect us physically, mentally and emotionally as well as limiting our potential for creative energy and future happiness.

Trauma

An event creating enough emotional charge is a trauma. This emotion is stored in the subconscious mind and is in constant danger of restimulation. It is the restimulation of the same trauma that is the problem. All traumas contain physical and emotional pain leading to the shutdown of the rational mind. For the trauma to enter the subconscious (irrational) mind there has to be this shutdown. Everyone can experience trauma in their life, it is only the ones that are stuck that pose a problem.

Phobias are the restimulation of traumas that keep the phobia going.

Dominant Personality

We must learn not to be so affected by the Dominant Personality, we have to recognise emotional blackmail and not give in to it. A Dominant Personality is a damaged individual. They are not to blame for our stress, rather the effect they are having on us is result of the fact that we care for them.

If we are totally balanced, positive and constructive in all our interactions with other people we cannot have a Dominant Personality. You must say, “I am the most important person to me, no one should be more important than me, others can be equal but not better”. If a Dominant Personality opposes your will, just remove yourself from the situation. Whilst hanging onto the anger and hurt you are making them the important ones. Your well being is far more important than them.

Many people have weaknesses due to a dominant personality in their life, somebody who opposes their will. If you are in this situation please do the following exercise.

Write down all people who oppose your will on a separate piece of paper set out like below.

Eliminate them one by one until the most dominant person remains. (You MUST only be left with one name).

Enter that person’s name here——————————————————- does make mistakes, have their own insecurities and problems, none of these are a reflection on you or your character. Read this to yourself over and over.

Example JOHN SMITH does make mistakes, have their own insecurities and problems, none of these are a reflection on you or your character.

When we are unable to cope with the pressures in our lives the stress affects us physically, mentally and emotionally. The only way to cope is to gather stress-reducing information and re-channel it thus dispersing the tension. If we fail to do so the pressure builds up until we feel helpless and unable to cope.

We may feel guilty because we are bored, discontented or frustrated, even though we have a much better standard of living than our ancestors and more disposable income. A good education may give you choices, but in return can cause feelings of

obligation therefore preventing your freedom of choice. Sometimes it is a case of the more we have the more we want, until we have lost sight of what is of value to us. We take so many things for granted that even if the washing machine breaks down it can be seen as a major problem.

In the past, e.g. post war 1940’s, we relied on the extended family, friends and neighbours network which was very important. We all knew them on a closer, personal level and they provided the opportunity to share our problems with a community. Nowadays many people do not know their neighbours, are too busy to see their friends, and have smaller families, thus the need to talk to

councillors or find other outlets for supportive relationships has risen.

We must be aware of harmful ‘friend replacements’ such as, alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. The dependence can be rapid and seem comforting but what is actually happening is just compounding the original problem, which goes on unchanged. In fact the original problem now worsens because the addiction is making us feel more desperate destroying our sense of individuality and independence and speeds up the deterioration of our sense of well being.

Success cannot be gauged by how much money or how many materialistic items you have acquired you can achieve success in many better ways, for example

You could be a successful son / daughter to your parents.

You could be a successful husband / wife.

You could be a successful father / mother to your child.

You could be a successful friend to others

Everybody has setbacks, but it is just as important to keep focused on your long-term plans and to not forget to enjoy yourself along the way.

Stress can affect almost every aspect of our lives from our relationship with others, our success in the workplace to our self-esteem and physical health. If not controlled and managed it can dominate our lives.

Need 4o winks

There are two main root causes of stress: trauma or a dominant personality in your life.

Stress is a part of life for everyone. We all meet stressful situations on a daily basis. It is normal! It is how we manage those situations, which has the greatest influence in preventing the adverse effects of stress from interfering with our health and well being. Patients have developed many disorders, cancer, asthma etc. after severe shock or stress. Stress does not directly cause these disorders but acts as an obstacle preventing the immune system working as efficiently. We cannot cure stress, so we must learn how to cope with it

Stress is an emotional force that has manifested itself as a symptom of our times. The more successful we become the more we destroy what is of value to us; the relationships, quality of life, principles, and the environment, all which are essential factors for our happiness and contentment.

Physically, as humans, we have not changed. Our bodily functions and survival needs remain the same. We still need love, warmth, food, activity and rest. Yet the demands of society have created the desire to consume more and control more causing unacceptable pressure.

We therefore have to learn how to manage our stress, as many stressful situations cannot be prevented. Nothing in society is free, society requires people to conform and work hard often without questions or making choices.

Not all stress is bad though. Some stress is invigorating; challenges add spice to your life and fires up the imagination. Many happy, successful, well adjusted people have high stress levels but are equipped to manage it effectively.

Change is a primary cause of stress related problems. Life changes constantly and without change

life would be very dull. Stressful life events are even more threatening when they are unpredictable, unfamiliar, intense, unavoidable and inevitable. Letting go of the past and moving toward the future can be daunting, but is a positive tool in stress management.

Not only do we experience our own stressful situations but we also are aware of National and World crisis from watching T.V. and reading newspapers. These extra worries may go unnoticed, but they are being absorbed by your sub-conscious mind and add to other stressful memories.

Also new technology, phones, internet and cheaper computers which are supposed to have provided us with more leisure time have in fact made the working week longer in many cases, as we can be contacted most of the time, what we are doing is accelerating the pace rather than slowing it down.

We all have a ‘pressure line.’ When we are above it, we are managing our stress effectively this is called Positive Stress. When we sink below the pressure line we become a stress victim, Negative Stress