We often sabotage ourselves through the unconscious mind. Self-sabotage is when we put ourselves in the jail of our own mind and not allowing ourselves to feel our very negative and destructive emotions, pain, guilt and bitterness. By not allowing ourselves to let go of these feelings we are only punishing ourselves. We need to physically get in touch with our feelings, which provoke anxiety and identify what it is that helps to release them. Failure to do this will suppress and only compound the problem.

The 4 most detrimental hazards blocking our experience, joy and personal fulfilment are:

1. Regret Living in the past
2. Remorse Unforgiving
3. Guilt How we punish ourselves
4. Anger Hidden or suppressed hurt

Clearing out the mind and getting rid of the blame and doubt makes room to plant new positive thoughts that can grow into a healthy, happy and fulfilled life.

Holding on to the past stops new opportunities from entering our lives. Learning to let go and move forward is a very important tool. Sometimes we are afraid to let go of the past because it is familiar, where as the future is unknown, this limits the development of a more positive future. Behind our fears lie a whole web of psychological and emotional conditioning that weakens our self-confidence and self worth, taking away our ability to go forward in trust and our sense of adventure.

By suppressing emotions we actually compound the negative effects of our emotions. Suppressed emotion can affect us physically, mentally and emotionally as well as limiting our potential for creative energy and future happiness.

Trauma

An event creating enough emotional charge is a trauma. This emotion is stored in the subconscious mind and is in constant danger of restimulation. It is the restimulation of the same trauma that is the problem. All traumas contain physical and emotional pain leading to the shutdown of the rational mind. For the trauma to enter the subconscious (irrational) mind there has to be this shutdown. Everyone can experience trauma in their life, it is only the ones that are stuck that pose a problem.

Phobias are the restimulation of traumas that keep the phobia going.

Dominant Personality

We must learn not to be so affected by the Dominant Personality, we have to recognise emotional blackmail and not give in to it. A Dominant Personality is a damaged individual. They are not to blame for our stress, rather the effect they are having on us is result of the fact that we care for them.

If we are totally balanced, positive and constructive in all our interactions with other people we cannot have a Dominant Personality. You must say, “I am the most important person to me, no one should be more important than me, others can be equal but not better”. If a Dominant Personality opposes your will, just remove yourself from the situation. Whilst hanging onto the anger and hurt you are making them the important ones. Your well being is far more important than them.

Many people have weaknesses due to a dominant personality in their life, somebody who opposes their will. If you are in this situation please do the following exercise.

Write down all people who oppose your will on a separate piece of paper set out like below.

Eliminate them one by one until the most dominant person remains. (You MUST only be left with one name).

Enter that person’s name here——————————————————- does make mistakes, have their own insecurities and problems, none of these are a reflection on you or your character. Read this to yourself over and over.

Example JOHN SMITH does make mistakes, have their own insecurities and problems, none of these are a reflection on you or your character.

There are two main root causes of stress: trauma or a dominant personality in your life.

Stress is a part of life for everyone. We all meet stressful situations on a daily basis. It is normal! It is how we manage those situations, which has the greatest influence in preventing the adverse effects of stress from interfering with our health and well being. Patients have developed many disorders, cancer, asthma etc. after severe shock or stress. Stress does not directly cause these disorders but acts as an obstacle preventing the immune system working as efficiently. We cannot cure stress, so we must learn how to cope with it

Stress is an emotional force that has manifested itself as a symptom of our times. The more successful we become the more we destroy what is of value to us; the relationships, quality of life, principles, and the environment, all which are essential factors for our happiness and contentment.

Physically, as humans, we have not changed. Our bodily functions and survival needs remain the same. We still need love, warmth, food, activity and rest. Yet the demands of society have created the desire to consume more and control more causing unacceptable pressure.

We therefore have to learn how to manage our stress, as many stressful situations cannot be prevented. Nothing in society is free, society requires people to conform and work hard often without questions or making choices.

Not all stress is bad though. Some stress is invigorating; challenges add spice to your life and fires up the imagination. Many happy, successful, well adjusted people have high stress levels but are equipped to manage it effectively.

Change is a primary cause of stress related problems. Life changes constantly and without change

life would be very dull. Stressful life events are even more threatening when they are unpredictable, unfamiliar, intense, unavoidable and inevitable. Letting go of the past and moving toward the future can be daunting, but is a positive tool in stress management.

Not only do we experience our own stressful situations but we also are aware of National and World crisis from watching T.V. and reading newspapers. These extra worries may go unnoticed, but they are being absorbed by your sub-conscious mind and add to other stressful memories.

Also new technology, phones, internet and cheaper computers which are supposed to have provided us with more leisure time have in fact made the working week longer in many cases, as we can be contacted most of the time, what we are doing is accelerating the pace rather than slowing it down.

We all have a ‘pressure line.’ When we are above it, we are managing our stress effectively this is called Positive Stress. When we sink below the pressure line we become a stress victim, Negative Stress