We often sabotage ourselves through the unconscious mind. Self-sabotage is when we put ourselves in the jail of our own mind and not allowing ourselves to feel our very negative and destructive emotions, pain, guilt and bitterness. By not allowing ourselves to let go of these feelings we are only punishing ourselves. We need to physically get in touch with our feelings, which provoke anxiety and identify what it is that helps to release them. Failure to do this will suppress and only compound the problem.

The 4 most detrimental hazards blocking our experience, joy and personal fulfilment are:

1. Regret Living in the past
2. Remorse Unforgiving
3. Guilt How we punish ourselves
4. Anger Hidden or suppressed hurt

Clearing out the mind and getting rid of the blame and doubt makes room to plant new positive thoughts that can grow into a healthy, happy and fulfilled life.

Holding on to the past stops new opportunities from entering our lives. Learning to let go and move forward is a very important tool. Sometimes we are afraid to let go of the past because it is familiar, where as the future is unknown, this limits the development of a more positive future. Behind our fears lie a whole web of psychological and emotional conditioning that weakens our self-confidence and self worth, taking away our ability to go forward in trust and our sense of adventure.

By suppressing emotions we actually compound the negative effects of our emotions. Suppressed emotion can affect us physically, mentally and emotionally as well as limiting our potential for creative energy and future happiness.

Trauma

An event creating enough emotional charge is a trauma. This emotion is stored in the subconscious mind and is in constant danger of restimulation. It is the restimulation of the same trauma that is the problem. All traumas contain physical and emotional pain leading to the shutdown of the rational mind. For the trauma to enter the subconscious (irrational) mind there has to be this shutdown. Everyone can experience trauma in their life, it is only the ones that are stuck that pose a problem.

Phobias are the restimulation of traumas that keep the phobia going.

Dominant Personality

We must learn not to be so affected by the Dominant Personality, we have to recognise emotional blackmail and not give in to it. A Dominant Personality is a damaged individual. They are not to blame for our stress, rather the effect they are having on us is result of the fact that we care for them.

If we are totally balanced, positive and constructive in all our interactions with other people we cannot have a Dominant Personality. You must say, “I am the most important person to me, no one should be more important than me, others can be equal but not better”. If a Dominant Personality opposes your will, just remove yourself from the situation. Whilst hanging onto the anger and hurt you are making them the important ones. Your well being is far more important than them.

Many people have weaknesses due to a dominant personality in their life, somebody who opposes their will. If you are in this situation please do the following exercise.

Write down all people who oppose your will on a separate piece of paper set out like below.

Eliminate them one by one until the most dominant person remains. (You MUST only be left with one name).

Enter that person’s name here——————————————————- does make mistakes, have their own insecurities and problems, none of these are a reflection on you or your character. Read this to yourself over and over.

Example JOHN SMITH does make mistakes, have their own insecurities and problems, none of these are a reflection on you or your character.