When we are unable to cope with the pressures in our lives the stress affects us physically, mentally and emotionally. The only way to cope is to gather stress-reducing information and re-channel it thus dispersing the tension. If we fail to do so the pressure builds up until we feel helpless and unable to cope.

We may feel guilty because we are bored, discontented or frustrated, even though we have a much better standard of living than our ancestors and more disposable income. A good education may give you choices, but in return can cause feelings of obligation therefore preventing your freedom of choice. Sometimes it is a case of the more we have the more we want, until we have lost sight of what is of value to us. We take so many things for granted that even if the washing machine breaks down it can be seen as a major problem.

In the past, e.g. post war 1940’s, we relied on the extended family, friends and neighbours network which was very important. We all knew them on a closer, personal level and they provided the opportunity to share our problems with a community. Nowadays many people do not know their neighbours, are too busy to see their friends, and have smaller families, thus the need to talk to councillors or find other outlets for supportive relationships has risen.

We must be aware of harmful ‘friend replacements’ such as, alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. The dependence can be rapid and seem comforting but what is actually happening is just compounding the original problem, which goes on unchanged. In fact the original problem now worsens because the addiction is making us feel more desperate destroying our sense of individuality and independence and speeds up the deterioration of our sense of well being.

Success cannot be gauged by how much money or how many materialistic items you have acquired you can achieve success in many better ways, for example

• You could be a successful son / daughter to your parents.
• You could be a successful husband / wife.
• You could be a successful father / mother to your child.
• You could be a successful friend to others

Everybody has setbacks, but it is just as important to keep focused on your long-term plans and to not forget to enjoy yourself along the way.

Stress can affect almost every aspect of our lives from our relationship with others, our success in the workplace to our self-esteem and physical health. If not controlled and managed it can dominate our lives.